Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
