btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
