Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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