Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We smell like vodka and hangover
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
