So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
