Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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