Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
