Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
