My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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