Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

it hurts more in the daytime

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(417): View more from Missouri

oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler

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(734): View more from Michigan

so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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(214): View more from Texas

I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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(+61): View more from Australia

Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.

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(805): View more from California

I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog

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(586): View more from Michigan

Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.

(810): View more from Michigan

I hate you so hard.

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