My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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