Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize