If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
