We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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