O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
