well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
