i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
