What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
