Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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