Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
