its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
