question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
