well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
this hospital has no fireball
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A+ Viking dick
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
