The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
