You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
