Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
