idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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