I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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