i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
