My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
