he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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