Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
