omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize