So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
