Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She's like a pop up book from hell.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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