well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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