Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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