is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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