you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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