If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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