oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
