I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
