Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
