She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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