I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
A bitchslap is in order.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize