Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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