But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
