Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this is an emotional support booty call
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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