even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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