Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
