Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
