He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
