Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
