Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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