I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
