they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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