OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
