Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
